2023 in 2,023 words

I do not remember asking God to be one of His strongest soldiers this year. Me ke? Me wey like softness like mad. Just when I thought I had seen ‘crazy’, God said “kan dimu, hold 2023”. One word: Omooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Two words: God abeg. Three: Omo x Omo x omo!

 

The year felt like a smooth mix of salt and sugar on my tongue.

 

Biggest learnings:

• You can love someone to death but not like them. Mmmhmmm!
• Don’t say it can never be you. You dey whine? (For someone who prides himself in not looking like how much he eats due to good metabolism, and not snoring, I have a pot growing in my belly & I don’t even know what’s cooking. I’ve also been shown what might be evidence of “light cute snoring” Mogbe! 😂😂😭)
• Bet. I did not say Sportybet, 2.5 & co, my hand no dey.  Bet on yourself! My biggest precursor to my perceived audacity has always been the question:  

   “Is it not just small Ẹ̀là Ojú kan? ” – aka “NBJSEOK”?

 

Me to Tinky

• Understand the role you play in your own suffering.
• I am not as patient as I think.
• Be careful how & what you name things.
• I care. I am more passionate than I like.
• Express love loudly.
• I don stop to dey pursue feelings like happiness. I dey find states like “JOY” in capitals.
• Be careful what you ask & pray for.
• There is love at home. You have people in your life who dey for you! Everything no be lomance.

 

January

For the first time in forever, I crossed over at a party & later that day, I whined waist at Mainland Bloc party. That told me something about the year — I was in for a ride. What I wasn’t prepared for was the mode of transport. Normal normal, I started with my yearly delulu of an apple a day. If you’ve read 2019, 2020, 2021, or 2022 reviews, you’d understand. E be like say I no learn from Adam.

Before I could breathe in the new year’s air, grief dipped its hands in my nose, eyes – all four of them, & ruffled the clouds of tears that gathered. It reminded me I was nobody. I lost a childhood friend. You see, we were both foolish, at least in each other’s company. I’ve known her since I was what, say 10? And just like that…. How?

Grief teaches you that no matter how much you think you’ve mastered how to sew it, there’s a design you didn’t see coming. I was filled with so much pain & many unspoken “I love you too.” Every time we saw, she’d throw her hands open with a smile & shout “the LOML”. Me being me, I’d make a face, saying “you dey crase!” in resistance to the hug, a defense that never stood for long anyways before we both burst out laughing. I sought out & found a coping mechanism to cushion the waves of sadness that washed over me.

The wheels of punctuated equilibrium spun career-wise. I tendered my LOR at Access & with that the journey of 1000+ days ended. Call it audacity, delulu, blind optimism or whatever, it was me rolling the dice on myself amidst the sadness tucked away in my pocket, in the hope Baba go bring double six. The rest of the month saw me multitask, see Aya get married, & experiment with a gratitude jar. I hate how life moves on so quickly. I hate it so much. Like ‘do you not see’, ‘can you not hold on a bit’?

 

February

While some planned lovey dovey stuff, I bid my final goodbyes, got promoted😂, & dipped both feet into the startup waters, in the hope of a liveable environment. After all, NBJSEOK? – No be just small ela oju kan? Adorning 16498, I ran the Access City Marathon on the 4th for the 2nd time at a better pace than last year’s.

I answered 10 Questions on love and relationships. Later that month, I scripted & directed some brilliant video Ad content, organized a community hangout, & started to sit into my new role with the support of Ngozi, one of the most amazing bosses yet. If you have a good direct report, God don do am for you, best believe. I performed marketing experiments — one morning, I was at the Newspaper outlet in Lagos island around 5:30am, some nights, I sat up late trying to figure out Ad analytics.

Let’s not even talk about the elections. Once again, I saw Nigeria do itself.

 

March

I turned 27. Yeeeeee! Wasn’t I just 19?😭 I worked from home, ate like a thief about to be executed, got some really cute emails & dispatches in-between. If you know me, you’ll know art undresses me. It was a solemn birthday, & I had an extended birthday date the following day. On the 5th, the pendulum kissed 4 years on the cheek, reminding me about the love of my life, Mr. A. Grief again did the ‘city boy’ dance on my being.

I planned an onboarding session, presented multiple times & fully rolled my sleeves. The dirt on some days had nothing on LAWMA. I saw myself question my move, but I was reminded that it’s from God doesn’t mean it will be easy. I was learning, trying, & reiterating. Midway through, the anxiety I thought I managed reared its head. If you hear startup, hmmmmm. Hmmmmm! My advice is pray, if you must, gun for one which has found product-market fit. If not, just get ready for shege. In retrospect, I did some of my best & proudest work there too; a rose in concrete.

I hung out with 3 members of the “Obinrinnnnnn! After God, fear women” WhatsApp group. One of our endless planned trips finally made it out of the group chat. 

 

Bear with us, the name usually changes.😂😂 Primarily, fear women!  Na woman kuku change am to what you see now. For context, the group is gender balanced.

Na only me know how grateful I am for them.

These guys kill me. The banter in this group brings tears to my eyes sometimes. If you find your tribe, hold them like Christmas goat wey won run o!  E no mean say if you no dey, you no be my tribe o. I’m kuku Yoruba. 😂😂 I no fit explain abeg.  

 

April

I ran like thief! 

           As at today.

• I had the best milkshakes at Food shack.
• I TG’d some videos (you fit no ever see am, & you fit don see am).
• I attended a birthday picnic where I met some interesting people.
• Got reinvited to discuss Navigating grief (the end of this video tho, I’m glad some parts didn’t make the final cut).
• On the 25th, Nixxie walked into my life with her tiny paws. 🐾

• I ran a marathon (PB marathon edition) here

• My Bible in One Year plan suffered.

   Did I hear, No? Imposter syndrome said I go like BDSM by force, e choke me for neck.

• I wrapped up the month by co-organizing a May day event & attended another at Muri Okunola.

 

May

I:

• hit a Personal Best (10km).
• cut my gold chain. I wailed. Who send me make I go baff. 😂😂😂
• lead marketing efforts & directed another video.
• attended a career fair (before them use me, I go use my sense)😂😂. 
• had a health scare. I visited hospitals, a lot. The back pains had intensified, and with it came thrusting chest pains. I had to do an ECG & several X-rays.

         By May, “overwhelmed” was an understatement. 

• was losing myself, attempted skin care, & started stress eating. 
• hosted my first Twitter space, & did some marketing stuff I was proud of.
• carried my two legs enter Oriki spa, make them press an unwelcome visitor, stress, out of my body. Ko werk.
• went on a road trip to Abeokuta. The Amala here is yeeeeee! — Iya Morufa (08033460864)
• decided I wanted to pursue Marketing full time. No handwritings on any wall, no bird shit formed M on my white shirt, nothing grandiose. It was just a culmination of things. I understood why despite several admissions the year before & even up to $20k in scholarships, the whole MSc Finance thing failed. There was clarity & redirection. 
• visited a private beach on a date with another couple; Toju fe fi love blind mi. Seeing my guys in love is one of my favorite versions of them. I like when men are soft. Life too hard. 

 

June

I was back in the hospital. I clearly need rest & physiotherapy because my back backed out. I hosted a Digital Marketing workshop on Access Bank’s invite, visited Neka, I love this woman so much, & attended a work strategy session.

 

July

I:

• went to the movies. 
• got promoted! Did some content & report writing. 
• bought a phone.
• acquired artworks titled “Gift Given” & “Rhythms of Lagos” by Benedicta Aikoriogie.
• volunteered in the Founders Connect Media team as the Twitter-in-chief.

• wrote GRE.
• picked up Tennis. 🎾 
• had more japa farewell dates & outings. 
• virtually attended a gender reveal party. As agba punter I guessed the gender to be a girl.  Moments as such reminded me what truly mattered, people, the pockets of memories you create with them. It’s the coal in fires of friendships.

 

August

My frequent hospital visits synced to the brigade drums & paintball headshots that followed. I be like teletubbies, them still shoot me like thief. Haba!

 I resigned. Members of the Tribe group had a sleepover, one of my highlights of the year. Nixxie & I toured vets, I tendered my handover notes & attended an Anendlessocean’s concert.

I got myself new frames so I will see road clearly, & saw myself acquire a Anthony Azekwoh’s painting at his exhibition & go on a date afterwards. I digress, but fine people dey Lagos. 

 

September

Waka waka carry me enter Abeokuta again go chop Amala & palm wine. I resumed my new role. 

I attended a couple shows, & visited Toju Clarke’s gallery where I painted my busy mind.

It felt inconclusive like many court cases in this country. 

Nixxie had a couple play dates, while me, I dey mark calendar.

 

October

I took some of the most breathtaking pictures of the sky, started physiotherapy, ran another marathon (no medal) while settling into work. 

 

November

 

I immersed myself in so much art starting with ArtX, realized my old self needed to rediscover &  heal. I started swimming classes, co-organized some marketing activations I am proud of, & had the discovery of Femi Lazarus’ sermons as my highlight.

 

December

Another marathon in, I attended Marketer’s Therapy, started therapy, & found myself with my vulnerabilities in hand & my feet on a balcony that felt familiar. At exactly 9:24pm on the 19th, I became Uncle Babavin; this year’s “Christmas Miracle”. Me wey no get sense? 😂😭  I was in awe of how much love one human being was born into & also was reminded of what matters most as I saw the look in my uncle’s eyes at his surprise 70th birthday party.

Omo, Christmas is not christmasing again o. No banger, no Christmas cloth, nothing. This adulthood just be like agbo. I sleep on Christmas, come dey write essay on Boxing Day, just imagine.

You fit don laugh, think say na good prose, but na me know wetin I see this year. 2023 stretched me, & in retrospect, I feel some shege wasn’t necessary but it remains one of my best years yet. To those who looked me in the eyes, held my hand, & hugged me regardless of distance, thank you.🎈❤️

 

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PS- E don end for up o! This one na jara (who doesn’t like when the Ewa Agoyin woman dips the spoon into the pot for an extra scoop).

Gardening this year-in-review into a 2,023 looking flower was a drag. I just dey write dey go, plenty dey to talk. In Portable’s voice “Arghhhhhhhhh!”. This is by far the first review where I wasn’t searching for soldiers to make up the word count army. That should tell you something.😂😂😂😂 This could easily have been 2023 in 4,050 words. 

You see I didn’t talk about romantic love, that’s because everything no be lomance.🥸 I also didn’t talk about sapa, I made the most & was also the brokest this year (Ojoro cancel ojoro).😂 I prayed the most & also sinned the most. God, please, abeg & thank you. I know our friendship felt very transactional. I became the most self aware I’ve ever been. And with awareness comes the unsettling questions that sometimes shake your core & above all, the burden of knowledge. 

Finally, eyin fans Babavin, if you noticed, I’ve stopped using the “Your before before/soon to be favorite storyteller” complimentary close & adopted “Yours Babaly,” or “Babavin❤️,” na because I’d say I’ll write more & almost do not. It’s hard. Asides 2022 in 2,022 words, Turning 27,  e., & Remember to forget , I no too publish this year. A lot of drafts remain what they are, drafts. A lot of art projects remain where they are, on the street of my mind. Maybe someday I’ll stop overthinking & share them with you, maybe not. You do have my word though, that each time I share these words with you, with it comes a knowing, a part of self I hope finds a home in & with you. (This thing come dey sound like breakup note — it’s not you, it’s me).😂😂 Laughs in PTSD.

Thank you for ‘15 – ‘23, & for beyond. ❤️🐾

Remember, NBSEOK? 

Ke ni nice new year,

Babavin. ❤️